Something incredible has overtaken our city.  It’s brought me close to tears, and been an awesome sight to see.  I’ve been totally astonished, I’ll admit.

No, it’s not the flooding. 

What could this remarkable phenomenon be?

People helping other people.

I have been amazed by the volunteerism that has surfaced in our community in light of the rising waters of the Red River.  It has literally brought tears to my eyes.  In the self-centered, self-preserving, self-loving culture we all live in these days, hundreds of thousands of people – and not just locals; people from all over the country – have come in droves to help fill and distribute sandbags across our soggy city.  In fact, there have been so many volunteers, at times, that some have been turned away. 

As I drove into Fargo this morning, I saw orange DOT trucks lined up along the banks of the Red, all working in rhythm, to distribute dirt along the on- and off-ramps of I-94 in hopes of staving off the rising waters.  Busses work in cooperation to bring volunteers here and there, wherever needed.  Craig Bohl, head football coach at NDSU told the City to “roll up the turf,” so that sandbag fillers could work inside the dry, warm FargoDome, instead of out in the parking lot in the wind, rain, and snow.

My own husband left his warm bed at 2:00am on Wednesday morning to go with a group of men from our church to help fill sandbags over the night shift.  College students have been told not to come to class, but to go help the sandbagging efforts, and they gladly go.  High school students ask to leave class so they can help out.  A local sandwich restaurant brought trays and trays of food to the FargoDome for the hungry workers.

This is what it’s all about.  Helping each other.  And we’re going to be all the better for it.  Because whether or not the Red’s waters invade Fargo and Moorhead, I think everyone will be a little closer to their neighbor, a little friendlier as they pass on the street. 
 
I heard a speaker the other day.  He was an 83-year old veteran, speaking to a class of college students.  His point was that as the economic situation takes its course, we are going to learn quickly that it’s going to be character that counts.  Not an expensive pair of jeans, not the name brand tennis shoes.  The things that will matter will be integrity, honesty, responsibility, and the like.  And while our flood situation in Fargo isn’t due to the economy, we are seeing the fruits of these high-quality character traits come out…and it looks good.  Better than any $200 pair of jeans or iPod Touch.  These character traits are a better accessory than anything money could buy in a store.
 
Thank you to all the hardworking employees and citizens who came to help!  We appreciate you!

By Heather Bjur, LMFT

Field Supervisor for MSC

Today as I have been working at my desk, I’ve been feeling discouraged.  The world around me seems to be falling apart.  It appears that marriage, as an institution, is crumbling.  Each week I hear a new story of how some child’s parents are divorcing and how sad the child is because of it.

I kind of just want to scream at the top of my lungs:  HAS EVERYONE LOST THEIR MINDS?!?!?!?!?!?!?

First of all, contrary to what some people think, marriage is an amazing phenomenon, and I can think of a veritable cornucopia of reasons why:

• Marriage gives me someone to talk to, basically any time I want to talk
  
• Marriage makes me feel safe, because my husband has my best interest at heart
  
• My husband = a warm body to put my cold toes on
  
• Sex…without regrets, guilt, manipulation, or STD’s
  
• Marriage is the safest place for us to raise our baby, which was conceived after the wedding….
  
• According to the research, at the end of my life, I will be wealthier than my single girlfriends
  
• My husband prompts me to be the best person I can be, not only for my own sake, but his as well
  
• Marriage makes me look at my flaws and try to change my bad habits, because I don’t want to be mean or rude to my husband…looking at my flaws isn’t necessarily a bad thing
• According to the research, my husband and I both will be healthier than our single counterparts, throughout our lives
• When I put on 40 pounds during my pregnancy, my husband said I was beautiful…now that’s real love.

You know, there are a lot of marriages out there that are rotten.  I fully acknowledge that.  And there are a lot of rotten spouses.  But people seem to use that as an excuse to get divorced.  Why not try to become a better person?  Why not put your children and your spouse in front of your own selfish desires and personality quirks?  Why not be a bigger person, for the betterment of society as a whole..

What happens when one couple divorces?  What happens when one wife is cheated on?  What happens when one child grows up only seeing his daddy every other weekend and holidays?

Life, as they knew it, will never be the same.

It’ll never be the same for the man, woman, and children in that divorcing family.  Never, ever, ever, ever.  And don’t believe the people who say, “Children are resilient; they’ll bounce back from the divorce.”  It’s a lie.  Children are resilient, but they will never be the same again.  Maybe some children will have little fallout from the divorce…those children are few and far between.  The vast majority of children will have to deal with their parent’s divorce in some shape or form, for the rest of their lives.

Let me touch on one issue before I close.  If you’re reading this, and you’re a divorced parent, I’m not here to condemn past actions. Go forward and do better.  That’s all we can do.  Take what you’ve learned and teach your children about relationship skills, teach them about commitment, courage, facing challenges, and the simple fact that life isn’t easy.  Teach them to value honesty and integrity.  If you don’t know how to do that, learn.  It’s never too late.

If we lose marriage as an institution, we lose it all, folks.  Marriage is the building block for family; family is the building block for community; community is the building block for the state, the state for the nation, and the nation for the world.  If we lose the foundation of marriage, it won’t be long before we lose civilized society as a whole.

Let’s not screw this up, America.  I want a healthy environment for my son to find a wife.  He’s 8 months old.  What will life be like in 18 or 20 years?  It’s in your hands.  And your homes.

By Heather Bjur (Field Supervisor for Make a Sound Choice)