“We wanted everyone to feel joy in the presence of our children,” Denise says.  “To me, there’s nothing more frustrating than being around a child who’s annoying.  We taught our kids proper manners.”  Denise’s methods:  consistency, boundaries, and constantly “reinforcing good conduct until it was behavior.  Because they’re going to be adults a lot longer than they’re children.”
Denise Jonas, mother of the Jonas Brothers, in Good Housekeeping, July 2009

“Yeah, sometimes we’re running around like madmen,” says Nick.  “And she makes us be careful in the hotel room—put back the towels, (straighten) the bed.”
Nick Jonas speaking about his mother in Good Housekeeping, July 2009

“Nor is Denise naïve about the temptations young rock stars face—even if the young rock stars in her family wear purity rings, symbols of a commitment to remain virgins until marriage.  Denise says the boys never meant to be standard-bearers for the premarital-chastity cause; this was a private decision each made that has become very public.  ‘They’ve been criticized for proclaiming things they never proclaimed,’ she says. ‘And what’s the criticism?  They don’t want to go out there giving everyone an STD?  What’s so terrible about that?’…..She’s realistic about the challenges…..’They are men.  They have desires…But it’s just about growing up and learning what it means to be in a relationship.’”
Denise Jonas, mother of the Jonas brothers, in Good Housekeeping, July 2009

“The boys acknowledge that their mother can be painfully straightforward about the young women they bring home.  ‘People always ask, ‘What’s a girls have to do to get your attention?’ says Joe.  ‘She has to be good to Mom.’ And for her part, Denise tries to stick to just one non-negotiable quality for any future Jonas daughter-in-law:  ‘She must sincerely and totally love my son!’”
Good Housekeeping, July 2009

Denise and Kevin Jr. and the family go to church, they live a life of service, and spending time together.  “Denise and Kevin Sr. also try to prepare their boys for deeper success—a loving marriage—by modeling good behavior…..What she does is constantly show her boys that ‘marriage isn’t 50/50.’  The rule she lives be:  ‘Marriage is really giving 100 percent of yourself, and not expecting anything back.’  It is also about loving someone for the attributes that he has.  ‘(My husband) is not the best about bringing home presents, but he’s selfless.’”
Good Housekeeping, July 2009

What’s wrong with sexual abstinence? According to celebrities like Selena Gomez, the Jonas Brothers Band and Jordin Sparks, nothing. Those are just a few of the millions of teenagers who have made a pledge to remain sexually abstinent until entering marriage.  Who could forget 2008 VMA’s host Russell Brand? To refresh your memory, Brand made jokes about the Jonas Brothers Band’s purity rings and commitment to sexual abstinence.

The jokes got polite laughs from most, but one celebrity wasn’t pleased with Brand’s jokes regarding purity rings. Jordin Sparks, who wears a purity ring, said to the audience, “It’s not bad to wear a promise ring because not everybody, guy or girl, wants to be a slut.”  Are teenagers today still being inundated with the “free love” media message that gained popularity in the 60s and 70s?  Think of the days of I Love Lucy. The stars Desi Arnaz and Lucille Ball, (who were married off screen), weren’t allowed to be shown on television in bed together.  Now to not show a couple in bed together (and they don’t have to be married), would be out of the norm.  We see things on television that are considered by many to be morally wrong. I hate to use this old-school term, but it’s very common to see a couple “shacked up” on television. For those of you who don’t know the meaning of the term, it’s a man and woman who are living/sleeping together out of wedlock.

What’s worse though is that television and young adult literature seems to not only tolerate teen sexual involvement, but encourage it. For example, the current series, “Gossip Girl,” discusses characters sex lives. It was criticized by the Parents Television Council for indecency and so was “That 70’s Show.”  It stands to reason that teenagers are confused about what’s right and what’s wrong. Teenagers are confused about what’s normal and what’s insane because they see television shows and movies.  They read the romance novels in the Teen/Young Adult section of any public library or bookstore! They’re constantly being bombarded with sex and sexual images.  My biggest issue is how premarital sex has been coined “free love.” Nothing in life is free – especially love.

Love has consequences to it, it takes time, it takes commitment, it takes money, it takes responsibility. Teenagers practice “free love,” thinking they’ll be free from the consequences that come from “free love.”  That’s how you then have two teenagers with a child. Also, notice anything about the term “free love?” There’s no strings attached, no commitment. It’s all just fun and games.  The whole “responsible sex,” propaganda is laughable. Teens have a hard time being responsible in regard to chores, homework and allowance. Yet we’re expecting teens to be responsible about sex? I don’t think so.  Hate to be the bearer of bad news but waiting avoids problems. Not only am I talking about the physical consequences that sex before marriage can cause, but the emotional consequences are very frequent as well.

So, again I ask: What’s wrong with abstinence? Perhaps a better question would be: What isn’t wrong with premarital sex?

By Raven von Wood
www.heraldtribune.com
Published: Monday, December 1, 2008 at 10:18 a.m.