Today as I have been working at my desk, I’ve been feeling discouraged.  The world around me seems to be falling apart.  It appears that marriage, as an institution, is crumbling.  Each week I hear a new story of how some child’s parents are divorcing and how sad the child is because of it.

I kind of just want to scream at the top of my lungs:  HAS EVERYONE LOST THEIR MINDS?!?!?!?!?!?!?

First of all, contrary to what some people think, marriage is an amazing phenomenon, and I can think of a veritable cornucopia of reasons why:

• Marriage gives me someone to talk to, basically any time I want to talk
  
• Marriage makes me feel safe, because my husband has my best interest at heart
  
• My husband = a warm body to put my cold toes on
  
• Sex…without regrets, guilt, manipulation, or STD’s
  
• Marriage is the safest place for us to raise our baby, which was conceived after the wedding….
  
• According to the research, at the end of my life, I will be wealthier than my single girlfriends
  
• My husband prompts me to be the best person I can be, not only for my own sake, but his as well
  
• Marriage makes me look at my flaws and try to change my bad habits, because I don’t want to be mean or rude to my husband…looking at my flaws isn’t necessarily a bad thing
• According to the research, my husband and I both will be healthier than our single counterparts, throughout our lives
• When I put on 40 pounds during my pregnancy, my husband said I was beautiful…now that’s real love.

You know, there are a lot of marriages out there that are rotten.  I fully acknowledge that.  And there are a lot of rotten spouses.  But people seem to use that as an excuse to get divorced.  Why not try to become a better person?  Why not put your children and your spouse in front of your own selfish desires and personality quirks?  Why not be a bigger person, for the betterment of society as a whole..

What happens when one couple divorces?  What happens when one wife is cheated on?  What happens when one child grows up only seeing his daddy every other weekend and holidays?

Life, as they knew it, will never be the same.

It’ll never be the same for the man, woman, and children in that divorcing family.  Never, ever, ever, ever.  And don’t believe the people who say, “Children are resilient; they’ll bounce back from the divorce.”  It’s a lie.  Children are resilient, but they will never be the same again.  Maybe some children will have little fallout from the divorce…those children are few and far between.  The vast majority of children will have to deal with their parent’s divorce in some shape or form, for the rest of their lives.

Let me touch on one issue before I close.  If you’re reading this, and you’re a divorced parent, I’m not here to condemn past actions. Go forward and do better.  That’s all we can do.  Take what you’ve learned and teach your children about relationship skills, teach them about commitment, courage, facing challenges, and the simple fact that life isn’t easy.  Teach them to value honesty and integrity.  If you don’t know how to do that, learn.  It’s never too late.

If we lose marriage as an institution, we lose it all, folks.  Marriage is the building block for family; family is the building block for community; community is the building block for the state, the state for the nation, and the nation for the world.  If we lose the foundation of marriage, it won’t be long before we lose civilized society as a whole.

Let’s not screw this up, America.  I want a healthy environment for my son to find a wife.  He’s 8 months old.  What will life be like in 18 or 20 years?  It’s in your hands.  And your homes.

By Heather Bjur (Field Supervisor for Make a Sound Choice)

Peers vs. Parents…Who do teens listen to?

Ask anyone who has parented a teenager in the past few years what they worry about – most times they’ll tell you it’s the dangers our kids encounter every day. We can’t be naive and think that we can ignore these dangers or that the issues of drugs, alcohol, sex, etc. will never affect our family.

Don’t count on society to take care of it. Often the messages that our kids get from the popular culture are not designed to protect them. Some messages are designed to create discontent in them…to create a false image of what will give them fulfillment…to encourage them to get all that they can right now and that it won’t affect their future. Often we hear only the negative media — but there’s a great deal of positive that hasn’t made its way into mainstream media.

Like…the majority of North Dakota student’s grades 7-12 say that abstinence is an important message for them at this time in their lives. Two out of three adolescents who have been sexually active report that they regret it and wish that they had waited. And, don’t believe that ‘everyone is doing it’. Results from the 2005 ND Youth Risk Behavior Survey reported that 41.2% of North Dakota students reported ever having had sexual intercourse. Obviously, the flip side of that statistic is that well over half of North Dakota students have not! This is great news because…abstinence from all sexual activity is the only 100% effective method of protection against sexually transmitted infections and unplanned pregnancy. That is a fact!